Male Job Enhancement Surgery

Many of you may have noticed, as I did, the recent news that more and more American men are opting for job enhancement surgery, or as it has been dubbed in the media “cosmetic surgery.”

http://www.webmd.com/skin-beauty/news/20110321/cosmetic-surgery-on-the-rise-in-men

To all my fellow brothers in bandages, I salute you!

It takes a brave man to recognize when it’s time to go under the knife, lift the brows, suck the fat out from around our eyes, reshape our noses, tighten the jowls, and stiffen our upper lips.

Sure, some naysayers may call it “vanity.” But they’re wrong.

It’s a competitive world and I want to put my best face forward at all times. Even if that face isn’t the one nature gave me. It’s the one I paid for. Which means it’s even better than the one nature gave me.

Nature didn’t give me my iPhone, my iPad, my iPod nano, or my Blu-Ray Star Wars DVDs either.

And to all those young whippersnappers in IT these days, you may laugh, you may scoff now, but in fifteen years when you’re getting hair plugs and blepharoplasties, remember, Larry told you the Truth first:  it’s a dog eat dog world out there and the dog with the squarest jawline wins.

As Boris Karloff explains in this clip: "You will not remember what I show you now, and yet I shall awaken memories of love and crime..."

 That's exactly how I felt when the bandages started coming off. All those memories of love and crime re-awakened.

Daily Affirmation: Don’t confuse inner beauty and outer beauty. The Universe gave us plastic surgeons so they can tell the difference for us.

My Next Best Life

In hindsight, I now see that it was probably my bad when I didn't tell my wife (now ex-wife) that I was going to get a facelift and used our mortgage money as a down payment for my surgery.

But hindsight is overrated.

Why look back, when we can look forward?

That's the important life lesson I learned from Life After Life, the amazing book by Raymond A. Moody, Jr., that scientifically proves that there IS life after death. Or as he puts it more poetically, "life after life."

I personally feel that in my next life, I will continue to be a healer. But sometimes I am curious as to whether I will be a humanoid healer on this planet or some kind of spiritual time traveler or even a life-bringing cosmic dust that travels the universe, like the Millennium Falcon, spreading my seed, so to speak, into the fertile but not yet conscious primordial seas of distant planets.

In my book, FYIL: Find Your Inner Larry, I explain how these exercises in future-sight can help you, too, to find your Inner Larry and live your best lives, now and in the future.

Daily Affirmation: Don't worry about all the mistakes you made in the past. You'll have plenty of time to make more in the future.

Yub Nub and Earthly Reality

Some of you may have noticed that my daily affirmations do not appear every day, which is how "daily" is stereotypically defined.

"dai•ly adj. done, happening, or published every (week)day."


Well, that's the literalists at the Webster's New World Dictionary for you.

But where does the concept of "day" really come from? The Gregorian calendar. And what standard of measure were the good monks using? The time it takes for the Earth to move around the Sun.

So believe it or not, but we're still measuring our DAYS by mere Earthly standards rather than by the standards of the Universe.

And as everyone who has read my book FYIL: Find Your Inner Larry knows, in order to succeed we must transcend the gravity of our Earth-bound standards that would tie us to the ground. Instead we must release our Inner Larry to meet his Universal Potential™.

I discuss my trademarked conceptualization of Universal Potential™ in my book, but I can explain a little bit here. Think of unicorns in virgin forests ridden by nymphs. If you can think of it, it exists. Only your skepticism prevents you from seeing your own reality.

I'll give you an example of the reverse of Universal Potential™. George Lucas originally conceived of an entire planet of Wookiees for Revenge of the Jedi. But then he began to doubt himself. A planet of seven-foot-tall men in ape suits? How expensive will that be? And all the haters started up their "Jedis shouldn't want 'revenge'" campaign, and before you can shed a single tear, we were given Endor, the Ewoks, the Ewok theme song "Yub Nub", and Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. (I refuse to speak of the re-mastered ending of Return of the Jedi. Refuse!)

Watch and you will see that George Lucas's Universal Potential™ was not manifested. Not by far. And later tinkering didn't help.

So if Earthly reality can ground a giant like Lucas, think of the damage it can do to everyone else.

Daily Affirmation: Gravity, I don't need you to bring me down. I am anchored by nothing but my own imagination.